No, the first step is not to count to ten, although that can’t hurt. Instead, talent mgt., June 2010 at 37, offers these suggestions. They have a whiff of the therapists couch, “Give Peace a Chance,” New Agism and tie-died shirts in battered VW buses, but here you go. Don’t get mad at me for this post.
(1) “Name the emotion.” If you are pissed off but in a diffuse, formless way, you fester. “Some examples are fear of the unknown, anger over mistakes or confusion concerning organizational direction” (See my post of June 18, 2010: emotions with 8 references.).
(2) “Be nonjudgemental.” Don’t blame someone else or criticize their mis-step. “Instead, examine the facts of the situation without judging oneself or others.”
(3) “Communicate with the other party.” Silence is toxic. Explain the facts clearly as you see them and the anger the cause.
(4) “Don’t blame or attack others.” “You make me feel …
(5) “Take ownership of feelings.” Lawyers have feelings too; there’s nothing wrong about them.